Stephen Hawking, gangsta rapper?

Hip-hop Hawking? You better believe it. It's hard to decide whether the parody at MCHawking.com is downright brilliant or borderline offensive, but it certainly made us laugh.

The conceit of this site (and yes, it is a satire) is that Hawking -- the genius scientist who is paraplegic and has to speak through a voice box -- has a side hobby as a gangsta rapper. Visitors can download MP3s and read the lyrics of such MC Hawking tunes as "F*** the Creationists," "E=mc Hawking" and "Entropy"; the joke is that the tunes are "sung" by a Speak and Spell to the tunes of popular rap songs.

This would be more than slightly insulting to Hawking, were it not for the fact that the lyrics of the songs are brilliant. "Entropy," for example, sung to the tune of "O.P.P," concisely explains the laws of thermodynamics in rhymed couplets:

"First we need to understand that entropy is energy,
energy that can't be used to state it more specifically.
In a closed system entropy always goes up,
that's the second law, now you know what's up."

Other tunes feature all the bitches, hos and weaponry that gangsta rap fans have come to expect; but they're mixed in with anti-creationist rants, screeds against Jesse Helms and introductory lessons about astrophysics -- exactly the kind of stuff Hawking might compose were he actually a gangsta rapper. As MC Hawking puts it, "My science is tight, rhymes faster than light/Like a ton of TNT I'm about to ignite." We couldn't agree more. --Janelle Brown [11:15 a.m. PDT, Sept. 5, 2001]

Get up, stand up, for no more AOL CDs

Tired of receiving AOL's trial-offer CD-ROMs? Sick of the neon-colored discs that hawk "All New Version 6.0" or offer "1,000 Free Hours"?

Now you can fight back through a massive send-back. The founders of a Web site called No More AOL CDs have started a CD collection drive, and when they receive 1 million of the unwanted silver circles, they'll drive them to AOL headquarters and dump them. Pickup trucks will deliver the pile -- which the site says will weigh about 17 tons -- and to make sure that AOL doesn't simply redistribute the CDs, the group is asking users to "take a moment to scratch it up good."

So far, No More AOL CDs has only collected about 405 discs at its Berkeley, Calif., address. And the creative use of AOL's (and others') ubiquitous discs isn't exactly new; people have been using them as coasters for years. But there's something special about an AOL CD protest on a scale as large as an AOL marketing campaign itself. --Damien Cave [10:45 a.m. PDT, Sept. 5, 2001]

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Let cellphone freedom ring!

Are you one of those self-satisfied cellphone-free types who sniffs in annoyance whenever you hear a mobile ring, bleep or blip in a public place? Well, stay away from Leicester Square in London on Wednesday.

As a publicity stunt, Virgin Mobile has called for cellphone users (whatever their service provider) to try to break a Guinness World Record with their irritating cacophony tomorrow. Dubbed the Big Ring, Virgin has called on mobile phone users to have their phones ring in unison in the square at exactly 12:30 p.m. Wednesday. On second thought, maybe all the cellphone haters shouldn't avoid Leicester Square tomorrow. They should descend en masse to try to steal the limelight from the event. We can see the protest signs already: "Mobilization Against Mobiles!" -- Katharine Mieszkowski 4:30 pm, PDT, Sept. 4, 2001]

- - - - - - - - - - - -

How Park Place vanquished Sand Hill Road

Reader Christopher Davis writes to the In Box about "another sign of the dot-com times."

"I was recently at an outlet mall [in Auburn, WA.] and saw, in the toy liquidators' store, stacks of the 'Dot-Com Edition' of Monopoly marked down to $8 (from $25, if I recall correctly). Sic Transit Gloria Mundi-Wide-Web?" -- Katharine Mieszkowski 3:30 pm, PDT, Aug. 31, 2001]

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Got a tip for the In Box? E-mail us